Had a bit of a scare Tuesday evening. Nothing major, and "scare" might even be too strong of a word to use, but none the less, I was worried. I hadn't felt real well since last weeks treatment. I just convinced myself that it was where I had skipped the week before and was just taking it a little harder. I was so tired all week and just could not get enough sleep. Yeah, I know, that's typical side effects of being on chemo. But I have felt so "normal" up until now and I guess I have just been naive to think that I had made it this far that I would have it licked, it didn't matter that my oncologist have told me that the symptoms would occur towards the end of treatments. Anyway, back to Tues evening. I had a small energy burst and decided to do a bit of picking up in the living room, go through some of the kids' shoes and then was gonna wash some dishes that had been piling up on me. Got a few things done and vacuumed, well that made me break out in a cold sweat, soaked my shirt, and I didn't have a large area to vacuum either. So much for getting to the dishes. I had to take me a shower to wash the sweaty grime and cool myself off and then I camped out on the couch a while. I could tell my temp was going up and sure enough, the thermometer read 99.6. And I know that isn't considered high by normal means, but it isn't exactly great for someone doing chemo and have been told countless times to call someone at the office or whoever was on call if it ever got to 100.0. I tried to rest as much as I could, but that isn't the easiest thing to do with a 3yr old just getting up from a good nap and it was also time to pick up the other two from school. Got them home and their homework out of the way and I returned to my spot on the couch/recliner with my book. I feel so bad having these bad days, for Doug. If I haven't mentioned it before, we live on a cattle farm, that he takes care of almost by himself. Granted he doesn't have as much to do as some farmers, he still has livestock to feed and a few other farm chores that have to be done on a daily basis. Plus he works a full time job during the day. So for me not to feel well means that he will have to do my evening stuff like supper and bathes. I was started to get lightheaded when I stood up and a little out of sorts, my temp, had indeed, went up to 100.0. Ok, so now what? It was about 6:30 and there was probably still somebody in the office if I called, but what would happen then? I would have been happy if I would just be told to drink fluids and keep an eye on it, but I knew in my heart that wouldn't be the response I would get. It would be more along the lines of "come by the office so we can give you some iv fluids" or "head to the er so you can get iv fluids", neither of which I was fond of, and besides I would be seeing the Dr the next day. Made the decision to keep a CLOSE eye on the temp and promised myself that I would call if it went up anymore, AT ALL! It didn't, thankfully. So, get up Wed morning, feeling ok, temp is down. Get the kids off to school, get Grayson to my in-laws', yadda yadda yadda. Turns out that the symptoms will sometimes hit all at once, towards the end of treatment, instead of gradually coming on. ARGH! It seems convenient for them to leave out little, but oh so important, details! Still don't know what the temp could have been, my blood work was normal, really good actually. He says when I see him for the next appointment, in 4 weeks, he wants to talk to me about seeing a genetic counselor and have the genetic testing done. This will be to see if I carry a certain cancer markers. If I do then he will strongly recommend a total hysterectomy because I will be at a high risk of the cancer showing up in either my ovaries and/or uterus. Since Doug and I decided after Grayson was born that we were happy with our family and I had my tubes tied, this is not as upsetting as it potentially could be. There will be A LOT to think about with this test though. And I have went back and forth, weighing the pros and cons, all I have to say is that I will have to pray hard about this decision. If the insurance decides not to pay for the test, it will be $3,000.00 out of our pockets. If we go ahead and then it shows that the markers are present, my will have to deal with higher insurance premiums from now on because it means that they may potentially carry it as well. Kim brought up a very good point which I have thought about a lot, why not just go ahead with the hysterectomy, without having the genetic testing. I mean, we know we don't want anymore children, and it pretty much is the same as deciding to have my right breast removed to prevent the cancer from developing in that side. But, like I said, I won't see him again for 4wks, and I plan on doing a lot of research on the topic between now and then. Then was told I can expect to keep feeling tired for the next few weeks til I'm done and it starts working it's way out of my system. My chemo nurse said something that put it perfect perspective for me. She said that the steroids that I am on are giving me a FALSE feeling of having energy which makes me "think" I feel ok and like I can do things when in reality I don't have no where near the energy I think in turn making me over do it most of the time when I attempt something. It's just funny that something so simple can make so much sense!! Good news is that I just have one more chemo treatment to go and I AM DONE!!! WOW! Bittersweet. For the other triple negs out there with me, you know what I mean. I won't have the sense on security being able to take a pill everyday for the next 5yrs to prevent it from coming back. I have to get off of here. The twins have a field trip to the pumpkin patch today and I want to go with them. I need to decide which hair to wear, I don't the other kids asking them why their mommy's hair looks like it does. They are totally comfortable with it now, but I still don't want to make things hard on them at school, they have enough to deal with! I'll leave you with an odd fact, my very last chemo treatment will fall on Halloween day, freaky!!