Hi!

My appointment with Dr. Holt went good Thurs., I got both drains taken out and the bandage taken off of the port. Even cracked a few jokes with the doc, laughter always makes ya feel better! I have to say, the staff in that office is great! They know me by name now, so I don't have to sign in, and his nurse is amazing! She is so sweet and understanding, but so are the ladies at the front desk too! I just couldn't ask for better people to deal with! Having the drains taken out wasn't as easy this go around as it was having that first one removed! This time I knew what to expect and knew it would be uncomfortable! And, it was, but well worth it! I didn't think he was gonna take out the one in the right side, he had to think about it a long time, and I even told him I wouldn't pout to bad if he decided to leave it in, but he DID take it out and I could have easily hugged his neck! Ok, maybe not "easily" since I can't get my arms up to high, but you know what I mean. I will have to say that going out in public has not been no where near as bad as I thought it would be. I was afraid that I would be too self conscious about not having breasts, but it really doesn't bother me. But, since I am overweight, it looks like I'm about to drop a baby at any time, lol! With no boobs there, it draws lots more attention to my belly. I'm sure there have been plenty people see me and wonder what the deal is, why don't I look "right". But, doesn't bother me none. Depression is trying to sink in, and trying real hard. Here I was, not able to shower because of those drains, and even tho I have a wonderful husband that was helping me in ways that a man should never have to do, I was really upset that I couldn't do it for myself! I can't get comfy in the bed, I am use to sleeping on my side, and I just cannot do that right now, and it is extremely frustrating that I can't toss and turn in the bed like I want, instead I wake up in the wee hours of the morning and it feels like I have knots in my back where I can't move around in bed. Then I would have to wake Doug up so he can help me sit up, or whatever, so I can get some relief, then try and go back to sleep, I tell ya, I have really lost out on good rest here lately! Then visitors, haven't had many, so that doesn't help matters. I'm sure that everyone is using the "wait til you feel like it" before visiting, but I'm feeling like it now. I'm doing really good, honestly! I was only laid up on the couch for the first few days home, now I'm up walking and doing mostly normal things. The fact that my kids aren't home really bothers me. I miss them really bad! I have gotten to see them almost everyday, and I'm thankful for that, but I still miss 'em! These are just a few of the things I am having to battle along with the cancer. It's not an easy battle, but I have God on my side and that makes it easier. Again, thanks for the cards that have been coming! Thank you, Dianne, for the book and goodies for the kids, they were tickled to have their own mail, lol! Thanks, Amy, for the angel clip, it's beautiful! I need to give my left arm/hand a break, so til next time...