What a day!

I'm gonna have to stop telling myself that these dr visits are gonna be simple and that I will be home by lunch!! My appointment was with the plastic surgeon today, so I could find out if I was a candidate for the TRAM and so we could get everything ready to schedule. Well, we left the office not so happy. Yes, part of it was because he wouldn't do the TRAM at the same time of the mastectomy, but that wasn't the whole reason. Neither one of us got a good impression from the dr., and we just wasn't satisfied with him. Please remember while reading this that it is our own personal opinions and feelings, it's fine if you don't agree, but this is how WE feel. I wasn't comfortable with the dr, everybody has their person space, and I felt like he was in mine too much. And, yes, I know he is a plastic surgeon, and he has to observe what he will have to work with, but he was too touchy with me and that made me terribly uncomfortable. I mean, it's bad enough that I am having to sit in this office half naked, and the fact that the gown I was given was as close to nothing as it gets didn't help. Then he wanted to talk A LOT about the cancer and that he knew I would be cured from it....Ok, I need to take this time to say that, last night, I was reading on the Susan G. Koman website and about how it started, and I remember one part above a lot of it and it was when a surgeon had told her that she would be "cured" from cancer and that her sister thought that should have been the first sign to go see someone else. And maybe it wasn't a good idea to compare my situation with hers, but the thought was still there in my head, regardless. Now, back to my story.... And that I might have to go through chemo but that it wasn't as bad now as it use to be and blah blah blah. This was not why I was in his office, I was there to talk about the reconstruction, not the disease! Then he proceeded to tell me that he thought that a bilateral mastectomy was in my best interest, before he even knew that's what I had decided anyway, because he had a young patient just come in to have her remaining breast removed because her cancer had came back. HELLO!?!?! That's not something that I need/want to hear. I mean, sure, I know that's a risk factor in just having one removed, but shouldn't he have asked me what my decision was BEFORE he started telling me this, then discussed my options accordingly? Then without asking me what type of reconstruction I was hoping for, just started talking about implants, as if that was my only option. So just said I wasn't interested in implants, and asked about the TRAM flap. Sure, I would make a good candidate for the surgery, but that it would not be the same time of the mastectomy, he would have to wait til I lost some weight. Not what I wanted to hear, but I was gonna hear him out. He wasn't interested in talking any more on that subject, he went back to talking about implants! So, I say it again, "I don't want implants, that I wasn't comfortable with a foreign object(s) being inside of me". Ok, he understands and says that I'm not the only woman that feels that way, and starts talking about putting in expanders. Hmmm, without knowing a lot about that subject, I kept my mouth shut until he was finished, I hate nothing more than sticking my foot in my mouth because I haven't given someone time to finish what they were saying. And when he was done, I asked if he would explain the expanders a little more, and he did, and even showed me one. OK, but that is STILL a foreign object, he is not listening to me!!! And any of you reading this knows that I am not an outspoken person and I usually let somebody talk me into things just because I won't speak up, but this will affect the rest of my life, and this is my body for goodness sake!!! So I say it again, a little louder and a little more aggressive, "I DO NOT like the idea of having foreign objects inside of me!" UGH! It makes me mad even having to talk about it here, so to make the rest of the story short, I just told him that I would be seeing another plastic surgeon and thanked him for his time, and pretty much left the office in tears. Not because I didn't get my way, but because I felt like I wasn't being listened to and wasn't been given the opportunity to discuss how I felt about the other options.
Since his office was close to my general surgeon's office, we just went over there to see if I needed a referral to see the other plastic surgeon, for insurance purposes. And it was just meant for us to do that, the nurse asked me to come on back to a room so she could talk to us and was letting us know that Dr Holt was concerned that it was taking too long to get with plastics and that he wanted to know how I felt about having the mastectomy done now and reconstruction later, and also that he wanted me to have some CT scans and a PET scan to check for any other possible tumors. Not that he suspects there will be, but just as a precaution. I will have to be at the Johnson City location no later than 7:30 am tomorrow to get these done! YUCK! But, I still have camping to look forward to tomorrow evening! Also, Dr Holt wanted to go ahead and get me set up with an oncologist, and I will meet with him next Fri, the 27th.
Now, the other plastic surgeon stays booked up, and my nurse tells me that it's possible that I won't get in to see him in time before they have to do the mastectomy, but she would try and see what she could do. When she came back, she tells us that she pretty much just had to beg, lol! Told them my situation and that Dr Holt wanted to do the surgery soon, so they had her fax over my records and the nurse was gonna show this other dr and see if he could see me, and that they would call her back and let her know. We decided to wait in the waiting room til she got the call back, after all, we were taking up that exam room and we wasn't even suppose to be there! She comes to tell us that he has agreed to see me on Tues morning!!!!! Thank you Lord! Who knows, I may meet this one and not like him either, but I figured that I have the right to find out! I want this surgery done as soon as possible, but I don't have to settle on the first dr that I meet just to get it done sooner, ya know?
Well, I have lots to do, like getting the camper packed and ready to pull out tomorrow, so I need to wrap this post up! Til next time....